Yesterday I attended a funeral at a West side church packed to capacity. It was not an octogenarian with adult children, grandchildren and friends in attendance to bear witness to one of life’s ultimate inevitabilities.
No. It was instead the mom of two wonderful teenage boys that had gone to elementary school with my daughter. A woman at the top of her game, personally and professionally. Several years ago she had gone through a protracted and painful divorce, but persevered to find peace. She was a highly talented bio-tech life sciences attorney, a partner in a national law firm for several years, then general counsel to a major pharmaceutical company. She was an AYSO soccer referee and a Deacon at her church. She was a world traveler and loved Paris. But the role in life which anchored her, sustained her and brought her never-ending joy was the role of mom to her two boys.
She also got breast cancer seven years ago and kicked the crap out of it. That was my friend Laurie.
Until the beast’s monstrous return with a vengeance that would simply not stop, until it stopped her. Laurie died a few days ago, just a month after her 52nd birthday; the same age as my mom was when she died exactly three decades ago.
For many who possess the benefit of strong religious beliefs, there is the hope of a soft landing in a heaven awaiting; an eternal life of grace. For those who instead rely on science, the end is simply that. The end. Except for the multitude of memories that live on in the hearts and minds of those who remain.
As I watched her two sons help carry their mom’s casket to the waiting white hearse, my mind returned to a snapshot collage of memories: tumbling toddlers to poised teenagers on the cusp of manhood. Laurie had tried so hard and so valiantly to hang on until her eldest would graduate from high school this June. But the monster could not, would not, be stayed.
Sometimes life is just not fair. Period. End of discussion. And no amount of religion or science will make it so. Our only armor against this sad basic truth is to make sure that those we love know exactly how we feel about them and what they mean to us.
Laurie’s two sons’ lives were irrevocably altered yesterday. They will miss her for the duration, but Laurie told them often and showed them always that they were loved profoundly and deeply. And while she was utterly heartbroken to leave them, she also knew that they would be okay and would grow into fine young men. And they most certainly will.
Sharing happiness will never divide it, only exponentially increase it.
Bon voyage mon amie. Je te verrai dans mon coeur. Safe travels my friend. I will see you in my heart.
|
